The other day I was leaving to run some errands. My mind was all over the place engulfed by thoughts about a million things and I was also in a big hurry because I had to get back by a certain time. As soon as I opened the car door, I realized I had forgotten the shoes I wanted to return. At least I hadn’t left yet. I ran (well, walked fast) back into the house to get them and returned to the car. Then I remembered something else I needed to bring. I went upstairs to get what I forgot and completely forgot what it was.
I just stood there in my bedroom with my mind a complete blank. What was it? Then I remembered I needed an envelope. I put my keys on the bed while I found the right envelope and got all the way out the door again before I realized my keys were not in my hand. Running up and down stairs is great exercise but not when you’re trying to leave. When I realized the state of chaos I was in, I did the following three things which really helped! Continue reading “Something to Try When You’re Scattered – Especially Helpful for Adult ADHD” »
One of my clients – I’ll call him Jake – had an easy time making friends because he was outgoing, funny and very friendly. He had a hard time keeping friends though because of his lack of listening skills. He constantly interrupted. He would ask someone a question and then start looking around for something more interesting while the person was answering. His problem wasn’t with talking or being social; it was the listening that was so hard. Jake felt like having ADHD made it almost impossible to listen when someone was talking about something that didn’t really interest him or affect him directly.
Although listening well doesn’t always go hand in hand with ADHD, it’s a life skill worth developing. Why? Because we miss out on so much when we can’t listen! If all we hear are our own thoughts, we can’t hear what our child needs to tell us or why our spouse is feeling sad or when a job or assignment needs to get finished. We miss out on close relationships and other pleasures of life. Continue reading “Learning to Listen Better with ADHD – Some Ideas to Help” »
If you have ADHD and your attention has a life of its own, asking yourself these two questions can make a huge difference in your effectiveness, peace of mind, and quality of life. They are:
1. Where is my attention right now?
2. How is it serving me?
It’s pretty hard to remember these questions when we are deep in hyper-focus or our attention is caught up in upsetting “what if” scenarios. Sometimes, it really helps to set up some kind of reminder system to trigger the questions. This can vary depending on what works best for you. You may find that asking yourself these questions regularly will not only help you get back on track with task completion, but it can help you shift out of negative thoughts or worries that are not serving you well.
Recently, I attended a support group meeting in Seattle for adults with ADHD. At one point, we were talking about the positive aspects of ADD and the group leader mentioned multi-tasking. She said that being able to do lots of things at once is a strength for many people with ADD and it makes life so much more interesting.
Looking around the room, I could see that people had mixed reactions to that idea. Continue reading “Is Multi-tasking a Strength of ADHD?” »