One reason many of us get so scattered and busy in our personal lives is it’s so hard to say “No.” This is especially true for caring people who are worried about hurting others or appearing selfish if they aren’t available. It’s easier if we have a “legitimate” reason for saying no – other commitments or an appointment or being sick, etc. But it gets tricky when we really just don’t want to do something.

Maybe we know what we are being asked to do will be exhausting or stressful and we already feel stretched. Maybe other things we need to do feel more urgent. Or maybe, just maybe, we would rather use the time to take care of ourselves. Not because we’re sick but because we need to give to ourselves a little too in order to have the energy to keep giving to others or live our lives effectively. Setting personal boundaries can be a challenge for all women, ADHD or not!

Of course, some things are non-negotiable, like our responsibilities to work or our kids. But the next time someone invites you somewhere or asks for something you have mixed feelings about, I think it’s OK to say, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” And then be sure to get back to them with a conscious decision that is based on your values or an honest assessment of what you have left to give – rather than because it’s too hard to say “No.”

Mimi Handlin, MSW, is a certified Life and ADHD Coach. She has been coaching in Seattle and nationwide since 2003 and has a special interest in coaching women, college students, and young adults to help them live with more direction and success.

As well as helping her clients gain more control over the practical aspects of life, she is also a certified stress reduction coach and teaches interested clients skills in self-care, self-awareness, and relaxation to improve their well-being and better manage adult ADHD symptoms. Mimi is compassionate, non-judgmental, supportive, and flexible in her approach to coaching. If you are interested in learning how ADHD coaching can help you or a loved one, please schedule a free consultation below.
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