One reason many of us get so scattered and busy in our personal lives is it’s so hard to say “No.” This is especially true for caring people who are worried about hurting others or appearing selfish if they aren’t available. It’s easier if we have a “legitimate” reason for saying no – other commitments or an appointment or being sick, etc. But it gets tricky when we really just don’t want to do something.
Maybe we know what we are being asked to do will be exhausting or stressful and we already feel stretched. Maybe other things we need to do feel more urgent. Or maybe, just maybe, we would rather use the time to take care of ourselves. Not because we’re sick but because we need to give to ourselves a little too in order to have the energy to keep giving to others or live our lives effectively. Setting personal boundaries can be a challenge for all women, ADHD or not!
Of course, some things are non-negotiable, like our responsibilities to work or our kids. But the next time someone invites you somewhere or asks for something you have mixed feelings about, I think it’s OK to say, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” And then be sure to get back to them with a conscious decision that is based on your values or an honest assessment of what you have left to give – rather than because it’s too hard to say “No.”